It was recently announced that we are getting Indiana Jones 5. And that Harrison Ford is returning to his titular role. My reaction probably closely aligns to this:

Basically, I really don’t understand how it’s even possible for this film to exist. I mean, I understand why it now exists. Yet another in a long line of Hollywood “safe” sequels, yadda yadda yadda.
But there are so many questions as to where they could possibly go with this to provide a plausible story. Even the story from the Crystal Skull Total Bullshit was stretched to completely laughable measures.

Need I say more?
Even when Crystal Skull Total Bullshit was announced, I was one of the people who was extremely skeptical as to why we even needed this. The Last Crusade was the Return of the Jedi. Everything was wrapped up in a deeply satisfying bow. Indy reconciled with his badass dad. They badassly rode into the the sunset together. The Nazis would go on to lose World War II, thanks in part to the unsung heroics of Indy. All that was missing was the “THE END” at the end of the movie.
Everything was right in the world.
Then we got forced back into the life of Indy decades later. And the entire experience felt wrong. (And it wasn’t just because of the aliens.)
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens made a similar move with great effect. (Which in retrospect actually might have spurred this God-awful decision.)
A lot of the reason for its success was due to the ability of JJ Abrams and the screenwriters to craft a story that managed to find a balance between the old and the new.
There was also an inherent advantage in that universe was built to be expanded upon due to the ensemble-style character universe. All of the characters and worlds they visit, no matter how minor, are interesting to see and have fleshed out personalities and mannerisms that make them more compelling.
Indiana Jones is not an ensemble piece. In this story, Indiana Jones is undeniably the driving character. Look at all of the supporting cast getting tied in some capacity to strict stereotypes. There’s a reason for that. It’s to quickly explain character and move the story of Indiana Jones along. The story’s links to the traditional adventure story focused around one compelling character was part of the charm of the series.
But, as Indy gets older and older, his action-based story will simply either get less and less plausible or less and less appealing.
So, unless the writers are allowed shift the focus away from Indy and reboot the series’ focus and tone completely, I can’t imagine this being story I’d want to see. And it probably doesn’t help that they’ve absolutely failed to find a believable successor already.

Sorry I’m not sorry.
#angryIndyfanstrikesback